Buddy Care for Your Marriage
Posted in: Begin Here (Military Family), Family, Marriage, Personal Growth
Strengthening Our Marriages Together
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” —John 15:13
One of the unique things about military life is the close bonds we have because of shared experiences and the fact that we depend upon the community as a team for protection—at home as well as in combat. When one person hurts, the entire community is weakened.
Do you see others in need of help? Do you want to give help to others from the wealth of your own experience but feel inadequate? Then you have come to the right place!
Buddy Care Dos & Don’ts
DO help your friend with these “dos”
- Listen, listen, listen!
- Go through our Events, Resources and Self Aid pages for ideas that might help them in their particular
situation— and make suggestions;
- Pray with and for them.
- Encourage your friend and spouse to have a “marriage getaway”—and then do everything possible to make it happen!
- Suggest an event, perhaps from our “Events” page. Then help them make the reservations, if necessary—or help by providing childcare;
- Offer to help them find Christian counseling—with a chaplain, pastor, or MilitaryOneSource;
- Assure them of God’s love, mercy and grace.
Some equally important “don’ts”
- Don’t let them be isolated!
You wouldn’t even think of letting someone get isolated on a patrol. That is just an invitation for the enemy to pick them off or capture them. The same is true of life. We are in a spiritual battle, and Peter admonishes us to, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) The Devil looks for isolated people to attack, so you want to guard your friends, your “battle buddies” just as much as yourself! So get them “plugged-in — into a community of believers who will care about them and disciple them. God created us for community. We need others to thrive and grow.
- Avoid “counseling” or spending time with anyone of the opposite sex. If someone of opposite gender approaches you for help with their marriage or relationship, make sure that you appropriately steer them in the direction of someone who could help them—either a professional counselor, chaplain, pastor or peer advisor of the same gender. This is very important!
- Avoid criticizing their spouse. The objective is to get your buddy the help they need—not to pick their spouse apart!