Betrayed and Feeling Helpless, This Military Wife Trusted God
Posted in: Family, Marriage, Men's Topics, Personal Growth, Women's Topics
Betrayed and Feeling Helpless, This Military Wife Trusted God
Purposeful Love and Grace
We first encountered the young Marine who was assigned to the Wounded Warrior Battalion when we volunteered to bring goodies during the weekly Bible study the chaplain had every Wednesday evening in their barracks. This Marine was the one leading the Bible study for the few men who came to the study as they were listening to him expound on a portion of scripture dear to his heart. He was enthusiastic and came across with such sincerity. I was wished there were more in the room to hear his teaching and the personal stories he shared.
Once we left the barracks and began our drive home, I asked my husband if he knew the story of the young Marine who was leading the study. It seems he had joined the Marines in 2000 and had been deployed numerous times in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He had sustained injuries during his last stretch overseas in 2006 but those wounds seemed to have healed and he was reassigned to recruiting duty in the Midwest. After this Marine, his wife, and two children settled into their new assignment, the routine of work took over. But soon things began to change and life did not go as planned.
So, what happened with this young Marine?
Shrapnel began to come out of this Marine’s mouth and he kept having flashbacks of the IED explosion that injured him and his fellow Marines while on duty in Iraq. Dental work and surgeries were needed to correct what the explosion had done to his upper body. As all of these procedures were happening, this young Marine began to really doubt God and he was very, very angry with why God would allow these injuries and why some of his good friends had to die. The anger built up so much he ran away for six months from everything and his family suffered. He delved into witchcraft, he betrayed the marriage vow he had with his wife, and he no longer was a father to his two children.
The wayward Marine’s wife began a dedicated research plan to see what was out there for military wives seeking answers to questions that were going unanswered. On one of her times searching online, she keyed in words related to combat trauma and was directed to the crumilitary.org website. She clicked on the resource link and discovered a book she thought would be helpful. After all, she had run up against several walls to try and get some help and was feeling rather helpless. She ordered the book When War Comes Home by Chris Adsit, Rahnella Adsit, and Marshele Carter Waddell.
The reason she thought this book would help was in the subtitle: Christ-Centered Healing For Wives of Combat Veterans. Even though he was still an active duty Marine, she liked the ‘Christ-Centered’ words. The book was filled with testimonies, very relevant information on PTSD, ideas of how to approach the situations at hand and tons of resources for books, helpful organizations, and websites. What she learned gave her the ideas she used to rescue her husband and bring him back home and back into their marriage and family life.
When things began to change
Once the book arrived, this young Marine’s wife devoured every page. She especially found the assessments to determine what might be happening due to the strange and hurtful behaviors her husband had been exhibiting. He was a trained and disciplined military warrior but he was not showing up for work on time, he was staying out late and not calling to let his wife know where he was. He eventually moved out and moved into a house where a coven of witches lived. Even though he professed to be a Christian, he was now into practicing rituals and taking part in occultist activities.
After learning a lot about Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injuries, she was convinced her husband had an undiagnosed case of TBI. Like a detective, she wandered all over the city looking for her lost husband knowing that she was not going to give up on him returning to the family. There came a day when she discovered his hiding place and approached him about coming back home. The sight of his wife drove him to tell her to get out of his sight and not come back. He did not want to have anything to do with her and wanted a divorce. Even though this was a painful moment, she handed him a letter to read and she left. He finally got around to reading the letter around midnight and it was the key to getting him to pack his bags and head home. Even though he expected to be treated differently he was told to get cleaned up, he was fed a wonderful meal and told to climb into their bed. He had been expecting to sleep on the couch but she was showering him with so much love and grace. He knew he didn’t deserve such treatment from the wife he hurt so much.
The way she accepted him back into the family filled with purposeful love and poured nothing but grace into his life brought him to the act of repentance not only to God but to his family too. What she had gleaned from the book gave her the tools she needed to let him know she knew the combat trauma was causing the unusual behaviors. She knew they needed help and after approaching some of the military leaders in the area, this valiant Marine was assigned to the Wounded Warrior Battalion in 2010 and received the treatment he needed to begin the healing process to a better life. He was medically retired after serving for two and one-half years in the Wounded Warrior Battalion with 13 years of military service. He is two classes away from getting a degree in Biblical Studies and has become a pastor to the military.
Trusting God with healing
Even though some people think it is God’s fault bad things happen, they don’t realize it is the sin in people that is really the bottom line reason for wars. Having a spiritual solution along with other treatments helped this young Marine family to not be a statistic for divorce and destruction of a wonderful family. A young Marine wife who took it upon herself to trust that God would do a miracle in her husband’s life and restore him in God’s eyes was the key to this story of hope. God is always in the business of healing and giving spiritual answers to combat traumas affecting the whole family. He is always available to help with misunderstandings, confusion, potential violence and other traumas as a result of deployments. Don’t be shy about being proactive like our wounded warrior’s wife was. She is a testament to the unconditional love she showed her husband because of God’s love pouring out through her.